25 Juin Simple tips to replace your relationships instead of speaking of they: Trying to find love beyond terms and conditions
Coyne, J.C., and you can D.An excellent. Smith. 1994. Couples living with myocardial infarction: Contextual position to the diligent thinking-efficacy. Record away from onenightfriend Loved ones Psychology 8:1-13.
Fincham, F.D., T.N. Bradbury, and you may C.K. Scott. 1990. Cognition inside and T. Letter. Bradbury, eds. The newest therapy of relationships. Ny: Guilford Force.
Gottman, J.Meters. 1993. Brand new roles away from dispute wedding, escalation, and cures from inside the marital correspondence: A longitudinal look at five style of people. Journal of Contacting and Logical Mindset 61(1):6-fifteen.
Gottman, J.M., S. Carrere, C. Swanson and you may J. Coan. 2000. Reply to “Away from preliminary research to help you intervention.” Record away from ily 62(1):265-273.
Gottman, J.M., J. Coan, S. Carrere, and you can C. Swanson. 1998. Anticipating relationship delight and balances off newlywed interactions. Journal of ily 60(1):5-22.
Holtzworth-Munroe, A., and Letter. S. Jacobson. 1985. Causal attributions from married couples: Whenever do it choose causes? Precisely what do it stop when they do? Diary from Identification and you will Societal Mindset -1412.
Kendall, S., and you can D. Tannen. 2001. Commentary and you will Intercourse. Inside D. Schiffrin, D. Tannen, and you can H. Hamilton, eds. This new Guide from Discourse Research. 548-567. Oxford, UK: Blackwell Writers.
Lerner, H. 2002. The fresh dancing from union: Ideas on how to talk to individuals if you find yourself frustrated, damage, frightened, furious, insulted, betrayed or desperate. Nyc: HarperCollins Publishers.
Stanley, S., T. Bradbury, and you will H. . Architectural faults throughout the connection of basic research to your wedding so you’re able to intervention to possess lovers. Log regarding ily 62(1):256-264.
Mention this information
Wiley, Angela R. 2007. Linking once the one or two: Telecommunications event having match relationships. The latest Message board getting Loved ones and you can Individual Activities, twelve (1).
A beneficial correspondence and you can problem-resolving experiences was critical for matchmaking victory; although not, healthy relationship wanted significantly more than an effective communication and you will problem-solving enjoy. There clearly was a familiar over-reliance upon this type of since “royal path to relationship and you may an enduring, happier relationship”(Gottman and you can Gold 1999, 8). This type of knowledge are essential but not adequate getting good relationship and you will might be contextualized included in the larger pair program. (To have information regarding most other secret techniques so you’re able to strengthening and you may maintaining good suit matchmaking, comprehend the National Expansion Relationships and you will Matrimony Degree Model,
Within her guide, The fresh Dance out-of Union, specialist Harriet Lerner (2002) covers with a real voice during the very important intimate relationships. She argues you to definitely a crucial part of getting an actual sound is actually “publicly shar[ing] competence including difficulties and you can susceptability (Lerner 2002, 3). This lady a lot of time-title clinical habit suggests that its sexual communication requires lovers totally paying attention to each other and you can asking clarifying inquiries that enable him or her to understand one another more deeply. Effortlessly intimate lovers are also ready state their unique thinking and you will advice, even in the event those people differ from the partner’s.
Bad interpretations. Negative translation patterns commonly exists whenever lovers faith the brand new bad instead of the finest on both (Fincham, Bradbury, and you may Scott, 1990; Holtzworth-Munroe and you can Jacobson 1985). Including people are definitely more perhaps not “staying they confident.” They might do a rough initiate-right up quote according to a negative translation otherwise presumption. They may turn facing otherwise out of its lover when reacting so you can a quote. Couples that happen to be expected to bad perceptions you will as an alternative try amusing a positive cause of the new other’s habits and you may discussing these with their mate. Such as for instance, in lieu of, “You did not remove the fresh new garbage as you need certainly to make me personally furious,” Jim you will say to his spouse, Peg, “I am certain you don’t take out the garbage since you thought I’d convey more to add to new can be.”
Love, P
Coan, J., J. Gottman, J. Babcock, and you may N. Jacobson. 1997. Battering plus the men rejection out-of infiuence out of girls. Aggressive Conclusion -388.
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